How to Advocate for Yourself in the Birth Room
Whether this is your first birth or your fifth, one thing remains true — advocating for yourself during labor is key to creating the birth experience you’ve always dreamed of. It’s totally normal to feel a little uncertain or even intimidated about speaking up in the birth room, but I’m here to tell you that you absolutely can do it — and I’m going to show you how! In this post, I’m sharing some simple, practical tips to help you stand in your power and communicate your needs clearly, so you feel calm, confident, and truly supported during labor.
1. Know Your Birth Preferences in Advance
The more you understand what you want, the more confident you’ll feel expressing it! Spend some time thinking about your birth preferences — things like pain management, who you want with you, the atmosphere you envision, and how you’d like things to unfold. Writing these preferences down and sharing them with your birth team before the big day will help everyone get on the same page, so you don’t have to worry about details when you’re in the thick of it.
2. Bring a Birth Partner or Doula Who Can Speak for You
When labor starts, you’ll be focused on one thing: bringing your baby into the world. Sometimes, you may not have the energy to speak up or advocate for your needs. That’s where a trusted birth partner or doula comes in. Having someone by your side who knows your wishes and can speak on your behalf ensures that you don’t have to worry about a thing. Whether it’s your partner, a close friend, or a doula, their support will make all the difference.
3. Learn How to Use Your Voice (Even If It’s Quiet)
It’s easy to think you need to be loud and assertive to be heard, but that’s not the case. Even a soft, calm voice can carry a lot of power when you know exactly what you need. Practice saying things like “I’d like to try something different” or “Can we take a break?” and know that your words — no matter how quiet they may be — will help shift the energy in the room and guide your experience.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions
You deserve to understand every part of your care. If something feels unclear or you need more information, it’s absolutely okay to ask questions. Asking for time to process decisions or requesting an explanation about interventions will help you feel more in control and confident. The more informed you are, the better equipped you’ll be to make choices that are right for you and your baby.
At the end of the day, this is your birth, and you have every right to advocate for the experience that feels right for you. In my Empowered Birthing: A Mindful Parent’s Course, I walk you through not just the physical aspects of labor but also how to communicate effectively with your birth team, advocate for yourself, and feel truly supported throughout the entire process. Ready to feel empowered and confident going into the birth room?
